Please watch the video above. Here is the video transcript:
Do you know what can kill your dreams and stop you from getting what you want in your life? Well, the answer is in you and not outside of you. Let me explain.
As human beings we often want to blame others for our misfortunes. We think that our parents, friends, spouse, children, siblings, teachers, bosses, government, society, and so on are the ones who are stumbling blocks on our way to success and destroy our dreams and aspirations. We rarely think of the real cause, the real dream killer; ourselves!
You heard me right. Yes, YOU are the one who can kill your dreams, YOU are the one who blocks your own way to the peak of success. No one else can be held accountable. You are the ultimate decision maker in your life, you are the one who decides to GO or NOT GO on any road toward fulfilling your desires and dreams.
If you want proof, just monitor yourself or ask someone to monitor you when you talk to others about what you want in your life. If you use a statement that begins with one of the following five phrases you may kill your dreams, sooner or later and therefore not to get what you want:
Phrase #1: What if…
Using What if followed by a negative sentence is a sign of fear and doubt. It shows your lack of self-belief. When you do not believe in yourself, when you do not have faith in your desired outcome, your chances of fulfilling it will dramatically decrease.
Let me give you some examples: What if I fail, what if the new business fails, what if it does not work, what if she says no, what if they don’t hire me, what if he laughs at me, what if this is just a dream, what if I have to spend lots of money, what if I lose my job, what if I don’t get what I want.
Any of these statements that start with What If can kill your dreams and stop you from moving forward.
Phrase #2: It is too…
Using “It is too” followed by an adjective is typically a sign of procrastination. When you use this phrase, you tend to delay the actions you need to take. Procrastination is one of the key factors keeping many people from getting what they want.
For instance, when you say it is too early, it is too late, it is too complicated, it is too expensive, it is too risky, it is too far from reach, etc., you are basically saying that you are not ready yet and you need to wait longer for the perfect or ideal situation that might never come!
Although there is nothing wrong with delaying what you are not ready for, using this phrase frequently can kill some of your dreams and aspirations. So be careful with using this phrase too often!
Phrase #3: I cannot…
Using I cannot is typically a sign for lack of self-confidence that may result in giving up early or just before the breakthrough takes place. Here are some examples: I cannot do it, I cannot move forward, I cannot solve it, I cannot pay the price, I cannot be patient, I cannot decide, I cannot learn, etc.
My suggestion is that whenever you say I cannot to yourself, change it to Yes, I Can immediately especially when it is something that you know you need to do but since it’s out of your comfort zone you excuse yourself from doing it. In many cases, “I Can’t” would literally stop you from moving to the next level of success in your personal or professional life.
Phrase #4: I don’t have…
This is one of the most commonly-used phrases that results in delaying or putting an end to your goals and dreams. When you say I don’t have money, I don’t have time, I don’t have resources, I don’t have connections, I don’t have any luck, I don’t have a chance, and so on, you shift your focus to scarcity or a closed door rather than focusing on opportunity or an open door.
Using I don’t have might prevent you from thinking big or taking massive action and therefore reaching your goals or fulfilling your dreams. It’s a dream killer.
Phrase #5: I don’t need…
Using “I don’t need” can be a sign of over-confidence or selfishness. When you use this phrase, you simply want to take a shortcut. You think that you have everything needed for getting what you want or you do not see any value in doing something necessary.
Examples include I don’t need to share my dreams, I don’t need to grow, I don’t need to do the work, I don’t need to plan, I don’t need to change, I don’t need to say yes/no, I don’t need to work with him, I don’t need to spend time/money/resources, I don’t need to travel, I don’t need help, I don’t need a coach, I don’t need a mentor, I don’t need to learn, etc. Many times what we think we do not need is actually what we definitely need if we want to get to the next level.
You see, any of these commonly-used phrases can easily stop you from moving forward or can even destroy whatever you have already built toward achieving your goals, dreams, and desires.
So the real dream killer is not outside of us; it is within us. The way we talk to ourselves and others can kill many of our goals and dreams before even we take any action toward achieving them.
If you want to achieve what you want more quickly, stop blaming others for your failures, shortcomings, and circumstances and start realizing that you are the only accountable person for all the results you see in your life. When you do this and decide to lead your life to the ultimate success, you set yourself up for victory.
If you have not registered for my free training series on how to get what you want, you can go to getwhatyouwantfast.com/training for instant access.
To your success,
Kamran Akbarzadeh, PhD
Founder of Dream Achievers Academy
Author of Leadership Soup and Get What You Want
